Woh nahi milegi tujhe...

Woh nahi milegi tujhe...

Chal ja... 
Chala ja yahan se...

Jhoot ki neev pe mohabbat ke mehal nahi khade hote... Baaki Maalik ki razaa...

Magar tu uske raste Khuda ko jarur pa jayega...

Chala ja yahan se...

(Par Baba suno... Kab tak.... aakhir kab tak...)

Raheem ne chuna hai tujhe...
Woh hi taye karega teri Disha, teri Dasha...
Ja... Yahan se Ja... Chala Ja...

- RaJ

Radio.... Jaane woh kaise log the... Hum tumse juda hoke marr jayenge ro-roke...

Main deewar pe tek lagake zameen pe baita hua... Radio sun raha... Ek behtareen nagma baj raha tha...

"Jaane woh kaise log the jinke pyar ko pyar mila...
Humne to jab kaliyaan mangi, kaanton ka haar mila...

Khushiyon ki manzil dundhi to gum ki gard mili...
Chahat ke nagme chahe to aahein sard mili...
Dil ke gum ko duna kar gaya jo gumkhaar mila...
Jaane woh kaise log the jinke pyar ko pyar mila..."

Tum bol uthi thi...
"Jyada Sad mat ho... Jo mil gai hai usi ke saath Happy raho... Rab ka sukriya ada karo....

Mulk mein halaat aache nahi hai... Mard itna frustration mein hai ki bechari Bakri tak ko apni hawas ka shikaar banane se nahi chuk raha...

Kuch din pehle ki khabar dekhi thi... Ek Bakri ke saath 08 Mardon ne Rape kar diya... Asliyat to Rab hi jaane... Jaanch mein pata chalega... Par halaat battar se battar hote ja rahe hai...

Khuda ka sukr karo... Jo mil gai hai uske saath Khushi se raho... Samjhe...

Warna frustration mein aisa hi kuch karte fhiroge..."

Maine kaha tha...
"Tum jao Devi Ji.... Mausam haseen hai... Kuch Chai-Pakode bana lao...

Khamkha newspaper mat bano... Har waqt akhbaar bane rehna koi aachi baat nahi hai..."

Radio baj raha tha...
"Dunia badi zalim hai,
Dil todh ke hasti hai,
Ek mauj kinare se milne ko tarasti hai...
Keh do na koi roke...

Hum tumse Juda hoke marr jayenge ro-roke...

- RaJ

Haasil...

Baba Ji mujhe kuch to haasil nahi hua...

Haste hue... Hahahahaha...
Jaake puch Qais se use kya haasil hua...
Puch Ranjhe se... Puch Mahiwal se...
Ja ke puch Heer ki Qabr se...

Beta... Yeh milne ki tadap jo jism ke andar ki qayenaat ke zarre-zarre ko roshan kar deti hai..
Yeh aansoo tujhe pakiziyat denge...
Yeh ishq-e-gum teri rooh se saare gunahon ko dho dalega...

Tujhe us maalik ke darbaar ke qaabil banayenge...

Is deen-duniya mein chand hi malang-mastane hote hai...
Jise woh parwardigaar chunta hai...

Us Shehansha ki raza hai...
Tujhe chuna hai...
Us Badshah ke aage sab beasar... sab bekaar hai...

Chal Jaa... Chal Jaa yahan se...

- RaJ

Yeh to ishq chadd gaya hai tujhpe....

Bhoot hota to kab ka utaar fhekta...
Yeh to ishq chadd gaya hai tujhpe...

Na duaien...
Na davaein...
Na koi tabeez asar karegi...
Na asar hoga kisi ki baaton ka tujhpe...
Na yeh qayenaat teri koi baat sunegi...

Ja us Khuda... us Rehman se hi madad maang...
Woh hi muqaddar sawarega tera...

Behtha rahe... Dekhata hun kab tak behtha rahega...

- RaJ

Waakif to hai hum dunia-e-jahan ke RAG-RAG se bhi... Jo MAULA KE DIL MEIN UTARE to bas wahi ke hoke reh gaye...

Badi hi sacchi baat mujhe ek fakeer ne batai...

Maine pucha...
"Baba Ji... Kyon yunhi pade rehte ho Mazaar pe...
Sehar-e-Roshan hai nazara lo...
Lakhon ki bigadi savari hai aapne...
Khud ki sawarne ki bhi fursat nikaal lo..."

Woh bole...
Beta...  Nazar noor-e-chehare pe hi teeki rahi...
aur husn-e-nazara kya dekhe...
MUJHE USKA DIL SAWARNE SE FURSAT NAHI MILTI...
shehar-e-roshan ko bhala kya dekhe...

"Waakif to hai hum dunia-e-jahan ke RAG-RAG se bhi...
Jo MAULA KE DIL MEIN UTARE to bas wahi ke hoke reh gaye..."

- RaJ

Radio... Dil ki aarzoo thi ki koi dilruba mile... Hai apna dil to awara... Kehna hai...

Tumne pucha tha...
"Oye Hero... Kahan ho?

No... Not again... please wahi rata-rataya sa jawaab mat dena..."

Maine jawab diya tha...
"Ghar pe..."

Tumne kaha tha...
"Disgusting yaar... Had kardi Tumne... Tum kaise ek hi jawab baar-baar, har baar de sakte ho?? 

Come on kabhi to Rab ke liye keh diya karo... Ki main Movie hall mein hu... Shopping mall mein hu... Park mein hu... Gaming store mein hun..."

Maine phone rakh diya... Radio On kar diya... Gaana baj raha tha...

"Dil ki aarzoo thi ki koi dilruba mile,
Lo ban gaye naseeb ki tum hum se aa mile..."

Ghar aate hi tum baras padi thi...
"Dekho... All tickets sold out... Is weekend koi ticket available nahi hai prime time pe nearest theatre mein... Ab movie ke liye woh city ke bahar wale mall mein jaana padega...

Yeh sab tumhari wajah se ho raha hai... Jee chah raha hai yeh laptop tumhare sar pe de maaru...

Dunia mein ghadi naam ki ek cheez ezaad hui hai Mr... Kabhi uska bhi istemaal kar liya karo...

Tum apni zindagi ke saath meri zindagi kyon boring banaye hue ho..."

Radio baj rah tha...
"Hai apna dil to awara...
Na jaane kis pe aayega..."

Maine coffee, bread-butter, cookies dete hue kaha tha...
"Maine is weekend plan OldAge Home mein free sewa dene ka banaya tha... 

Next day kuch donation mein material, cloths, items, money collect karne ka banaya tha..."

Tumne bola tha...
"Yaar... Tumhara aisa plan tha to tum bak to sakte the mujhe... 

Chalo koi baat nahi... Next week dekh lenge movie... Is weekend OldAge Home ke liye sewa karte hai..."

Radio pe tarano ka safar chal raha tha...

"Kehna hai... Kehna hai...
Tumse yeh pehle baar...
Ohh Tumhi to lai ho jeevan mein mere Pyar... Pyar... Pyar...

- RaJ

Khuda bhi fakeeron se tauba karta hai.... Na jaane kab kis cheez ko thokar maar de...

Khuda bhi fakeeron se tauba karta hai...

Na jaane kab kis cheez ko thokar maar de...

- RaJ

Dawat-e-mehmaan nawazi ki yunh bezzati na karo...

Bismillah karo...

Numaiesh na karo...

- RaJ

Suljhi hui dori mein, chand uljhe hue mere sawaal hai...

suljhi hui dori mein
chand uljhe hue mere sawaal hai...

mujhpe itna pyar kyon aa raha hai...
fir chhod jaane ka kya irada hai...

mujhpar taras kha ke mat aao...
jo mohabbat nahi to...
aag mein ghee daalne mat aao...

gusse aur gum mein itna confuse mat raha karo...
main gum mein chikhata hun... chillata hun...
gum mein sach likhta hun... bolta hun...
tum ise mera gussa mat samjha karo...

Maine to har baat pe teri Ameen kaha hai...
Tumne kaha "swaaha" ho jaye...
Maine Ameen kaha...
Tumne kaha "taken serious action against you"
Maine Ameen kaha...
Tumne kaha "sms mat karo"
Maine Ameen kaha...
Tumne kaha "khate ho... kaun sa mera khate ho"
Maine Ameen kaha...
Tumne kaha "Galat Kiya"
Maine Ameen kaha...

Jis din tum kahogi "Dori toot jaye"
Main Ameen kahunga...

"Tere mangane pe Talaaq kya Apni Jaan bhi de du"

- RaJ

Sahi hai... Sahi hai... Sahi hai... Sahi hai...

Sahi hai... Sahi hai... Sahi hai... Sahi hai...

kabhi to kaho meri nazron se nazrein milakar...
Galat hai...

tumne GALAT aurat se ishq kiya...
tumne GALAT kiya jo intezaar kiya...
tumne GALAT kiya jo usko paane ki inteha mein khud ko kho diya...
tumne GALAT kiya jo is dunia mein ishq ko sabse uccha mukaam samjha...
tumne ab tak sirf GALAT kiya... GALAT kiya... GALAT hi kiya...

- RaJ

I'm richest man in the world...

maine apne lafzon se pucha hi nahi kabhi...

12saalon ka waqt kidar guzar gaya...

tumne padha hai inko...

ek baar puch jarur lena...

"kaash main bhi kabhi

apni Jeb mein tumhari wafaaien rakh kar keh paata...

"I'm richest man in the world..."

- RaJ

Meri mashrufiyat bhi tum...

Meri mashrufiyat bhi tum...
Meri tanhai bhi tum...

Ashkon ki behti ek-ek boondh mein...
Mere halak se nikle hue ek-ek lafz mein...
Meri mohabbat ki akad mein...
Padi gai ek-ek Dua mein..
Har hisse mein kabza kar rakha hai tumne...
Par Pata nahi kyon yeh Jaan chhod rakhi hai... Na jaane kab is Jaan pe bhi apni pakad rakhogi...

- RaJ

Kis duniya ki aurat ho tum...

Kis dunia ki aurat ho tum...
Kis darje ki mohabbat kar baithi ho tum...
Khuda ne tumhari rooh ko itni pakiziyat kyon bakshee hai...

Janta hun...
Tadapti ho andar hi andar...
Sisakati rehti ho andar hi andar...
Par juban pe mera naam tak nahi leti...

Ishq mein bada uccha mukaam haasil kar liya hai tumne...

- Tumhara RaJ...

Radio... Gudia humse roothi rahogi... Agar tum Bhula na Doge...

Tumne pucha tha...
"Oye Hero... Kahan mashruf ho? Blogging?"

Maine jawab diya tha...
"Kiara Advani ke Lust Stories wala Lust Scene dekh raha hun..."

Tumne gusse mein bola tha...
"Wapas... Jaldi wapas karo... wapas karo mera Lappi... Aag lage YouTube Channel ko aur tumse video share karne walon ke account mein... Aag lage..."

Main chhup-chaap lappi rakh kar utha aur Radio On kar diya...

Radio pe bada hi behtareen gaana baj raha tha...
"Gudia humse ruthi rahogi...
Kab tak na hasogi...
Dekho ji kiran si lehrai...
Aai re aai re Hansi aai..."

Thoda dair ke liye sannata hi pasra raha Radio bajta raha...
(Tum mujhe yun bhula na paoge... Mujhe teri mohabbat ka sahara mil gaya hota...)

Tumne mujhe coffee dete hue, bedsheet theek karte hue pucha tha...
"Waise kaun se wala video dekh rahe the... Saree wala ya Sex wala..."

Maine jawab diya tha...
"Saree wala..."

Tumne fir kaha tha...
"Bandi ne kya kamaal ka scene diya hai... Saree wale aur sex wale dono video mein... Chha gai hai Bandi acting se... Saree scene mein to solid expression hai.."

Maine pucha tha...
"Tumne kab video diya?"

Tumne kaha tha...
"Bahut pehle... Mobile pe hi ek friend ne link bheja tha.. tabhi dekha tha video...

Waise tumhara aaj motorcycle chalane ka irada hai..."

Maine kaha tha...
"Nahi... Tum apne office se jo kaam lai ho... Use complete kar dete hai... Month last tak thoda khali pade bank account mein kuch rupiya aa jayega..."

Tumne kaha tha...
"Chalo theek hai... Tum kaam karo... Appa to chale sone... Jab bed pe aana to tight si huggy yaad se dena mat bhulna...

Aur Kiara Advani ke video ke siwa koi dusara video mat dekhne lagna... Samjhe..."

Maine kaha tha...
"Ji Maalik..."

Radio pe tarane baj rahe the...
"Gar tum bhula na doge,
Sapne yeh sach hi honge,
Hum Tum Juda na honge..."

- RaJ

Radio... Naam gum jayega... Surmai aankhiyon mein... Karoge yaad to har baat yaad aayegi...

Tum bol uthi thi...
"Mujhe weekend ka hamesha beqarari se intezaar rehta hai...

Mujhe jo tumhari baahon mein aaram se raat bhar sone ko jo milega...

Aur morning mein Garma Garm Coffee with tight Huggy..."

Radio pe ek sweet gaana baj raha tha...
"Naam gum jayega,
Chehara yeh badal jayega,
Meri aawaz hi pehchan hai,
Gar yaad rahe..."

Maine kaha tha...
"Ohhh okay... Waise apna lappi lao blogging karni hai..."

Tumne bola tha...
"Rehan de... Aap Beqaar di gallan likhde rehande ho... Khamkha galiyaan kaada karte ho...

Poore dunia ko pata chal chuka hai SHEE aur uski Maa Randi auratein hai... Aur Randi ko Randi hi kehte hai, Devi nahi... Okay...

GuNn bewafa, matlabi hai...

Tumhara Bhai, Bhabhi makkaar, ehsaan fhramosh, tumhari maa ke qaatil hai...

Tumhare boss jo the ghatiya, harami, jaleel, kuteriya log hai..

Sab dunia ko pata chal gaya hai... Now relax... Galiyon ka countdown ab The End karo...

Aao jaldi se jappi pa lo..."

Radio surile tarane sunane mein laga tha...
"Surmai aakhiyon mein
Nanha-Munna Sapna de ja re...
Nindiya ke udate pankhi re...
Aankhiyon mein aaja saathi re..."

Maine bola tha...
"Lao lappi yaar... Bas thoda si blogging kar lene do... Sirf 30min... Fir coffee banakar lata hun..."

Tumne bola tha...
"Lo lappi... Poore mood ki maa-behan kar dete ho...qasam se...

Beta, tumse to blogger walo ko paisa wasoolna chahiye... jo unke cloud server pe itna besirpair ka load bada rakha hai...

Tumhara blog agar koi Insaan read kar le to uska BP high/ low dono hota rahe...

Agar tumne mere baare mein kabhi bhi ulta-seedha likha, maine to tera tetua hi daba dena hai raat mein... Sacchi..."

Maine kaha tha...
"Yeh lo tumhara lappi return... Tumhari bhadaas ke saath mera bhi kaam khatam...

Main chala coffee banane..."

Radio bol raha tha...
"Karoge yaad to har baat yaad aayegi...
Guzarte waqt ki har mauj thehar jayegi..."

- RaJ

HAQ... Apni Pasand... Izzat...

Tumhe apne HAQ, apni pasand se jyada apni Izzat pyari hai...

Mazedaar baat to yeh hai ki yeh Izzat tumhari khud ki nahi hai...

Balki yeh Izzat hai...

Tumhare Maa-Baap ki...

Tumhare Bhai ki...

Tumhare Shauhar ki...

Tumhare Bete ki...

Tumhare rishtedaaro ki...

Samaaj ki...

Aur haqiqat yeh hai unhe tumhare HAQ, tumhari pasand ki koi parwah na thi, na hai...

- RaJ

tumhari zindagi mein sirf MAIN hai... main nahi hun... kahi nahi hun...

kahi mujhko yeh kehna na pad jaye ki...

"tumhari zindagi mein sirf MAIN hai...

main nahi hun...

kahi nahi hun..."

- RaJ

Radio... Teri Deewani...

Tumne kaha tha...
"Tum kahoge to tumhare Pair bhi daba diya karungi...
Zameen pe kahoge to zameen pe so liya karungi...
Tum umar bhar mujhe haath nahi lagaoge to bhi koi baat nahi...
Aankhon ke samne rahoge aur kahoge nahi bolo mujhse tab bhi chalega...

Par main apna haq kisi ko kheraat mein nahi de sakti...

Apne pyar ko kisi ke saath nahi baat payungi....

Tumko baat nahi sakti kisi ke saath..."

Main bas chhup-chaap baitha sab sun raha tha...

Radio baj raha tha...
"Tere Naam se jee lu,
Tere Naam se marr jayun,
Tere Jaan ke sadke mein kuch aisa kar jayun,
Tune kya kar dala marr gai main mit gai main,
Ho ri ha ri ho gai main
Teri Deewani
Teri Deewani"

- raj

Radio... Piya re... C A T, cat maane billi...

Tumne kaha tha...
Hello... Idhar...

Maine kaha tha...
Kaun?

Tumne kaha tha...
Maine tere gaal utte Chapet maarni hai zor naal... Tab pehchan paoge...

Maine kaha tha...
Ohhhhhh Tum... tumhari surili aawaz se pehchan paya... Kitni baar bola hai tumse yeh makeup-shakeup mat kiya karo... Pari ban jaati ho to pehchan nahi paata hun...

Mera mobile bed pe pada hai... Zara dena...

Radio pe instrumental music song baj raha tha...

"Piya re... Piya re... Piya re... Piya re...
Thare bina laage nahi mera jiya re...
Oh Piya re... Piya re..."

Tumne bola tha...
Bed pe rakha tha... Ab tumhara mobile locker mein rakha hai...

Aadhe message maine pad liye hai... Aadhe message mandir mein jakar maa ko padh kar sunaugi.. ki unke Bhalu ki kartute... Third class ladkiyon ke saath chatting ki baatein...

Aur saare messages mera advocate padega...

Tumko to Court mein dekhungi Mr...

Maine kaha tha...
Tum Coat mein dekho chahe mujhe underwear mein dekho... Tumhara haq banta hai...

Maaf kar do... Ab nahi karungi chatting-messaging... Bhool ho gai...

Tumne kaha tha...
Bhool ek baar maaf kar bhi dungi...
Magar bewafaai nahi...

Khayal rahe... 
Pyar karoge to bepanaah mohabbat karungi...
Wafa karoge to Wafa karungi, 
Bewafaai karoge to bewafaai karungi...
Main un jaisi ladkiyon mein nahi hu... Jo maa-baap ke pass jakar roye, dukhada sunaye... Ya tumhari bewafaai yaad karkarke aansoo tapkaaye... 

Tumhari yeh mucche kaatkar tumhare haath mein dhar dungi...

Seedhe talaaq hi le lungi... Samjhe...

Apni cousin sister se kaho cousin hi bani rahe Rakhail banne ki koshish na kare...

Radio saath-saath baj raha tha...

"C A T cat, cat maane billi,
R A T rat, rat maane chuhaa,
Are Dil hai tere panje mein
To kya hua..."

- raj

O Mere Ranjhana...

O Mere Ranjhana...

Heer jo hai na Punjab ki thi... tujhe Lakhnau mein kahan milegi...

Dhundhana hai jo use to jakar Punjab mein dhund...

- raj

Radio... Jab koi baat bigad jaye... Ek pyar ka nagma hai... Ajeeb dastan hai yeh...

Radio pe Instrumental song baj raha tha...

"jab koi baat bigad jaye...
jab koi mushkil pad jaye...
tum dena saath mera... O humnava...
na koi tha... na koi hai...
zindagi mein tumhare siwa...
tum dena saath mera... O humnava..."

Tabhi tumne pucha tha...
Yeh Gaaliyan tumne kaha se seekhi?

Maine kaha tha...
Virasat mein mili hai...

Tumne fir kaha tha...
Virasat?

Maine bola tha...
Haan... Maa-Baap dono dete the... To seekh gaye...

Baap ki to aadat thi.... Gaali-Galauch ki... Maar-Peet, Ladai-Jhagde ke... Jab tak roz 2-3 logon ki Maa-Behan sek na de, tab tak uske dil ko tasalli nahi milti thi...uska din poora nahi hota tha...

Maa majbooran hokar deti thi... Samaaj akeli aurat ko ladai karne ke liye yeh sab hatiyaar de hi deta hai.... Samaaj ne maa ko waisa bana diya tha... Aur Kabhi-Kabhi shaukiya, mazakiya de deti thi...

Bas dono ki kripa se sab seekh gaye... hahaha...

Radio par Naya instrumental song baj utha tha...

"ek pyar ka nagma hai...
maujon ki ravaani hai...
zindagi aur kuch bhi nahi...
bas teri-meri kahani hai..."

Tumne fir bola tha....
Mujhe lagta hai Dad aache insaan rahe honge?

Maine kaha tha...
Tumko aisa kyon laga?

Tumne jawab diya tha...
Main jab tumko dekhati hu... To sochati hun...

Ek ladka jo apni maa se itna pyar karta hai...
Jo ek ladki ke liye 12 saalon tak loyal, imandaar reh sakta hai... caring, supportive hai...
Jo betiyon, bujurgon ki itni respect karta hai...
Jo thoda bahut... thoda bahut sanskari, dharmik type wala hai...

Woh kahavat hai na...
"baap pe beta, sipahi pe ghoda...
jyada nahi to thoda-thoda..."

Isliye aisa lagta hai Dad ek aache insaan rahe honge...

Maine kahan tha...
Aache, bure ka to mujhe nahi pata... Par mere liye usne kuch bhi kiya nahi... Kam se kam hamari padai-likhai ka kharcha hi utha leta...

Ek fhooti kaudi bhi nahi chhodi hamare liye....

Waise mujhe mere Baap ka kuch chahiye bhi nahi tha...

Radio naye tarane ki taraf badh chala tha...

"Ajeeb dastaa(n) hai yeh...
Kaha shuru kaha khatam...
Yeh manzile hai kaun si 
na woh samajh sake na hum...."

- raj